måndag 26 augusti 2013

SGA Scrapped Fanfic Book 1 Chapter 1 Decisions

Hello again I'll start this blog of by posting the 30 pages of my first 'book' of Stargate fanfic, this is a total mess and I scrapped it before even posting it.  the comments in parentheses was meant to e self guiding but I'll leave them in, if the later parentheses feels unnecessary after the earlier one it because I was working by way back from the end to the beginning. This fanfic was supposed to last from the Atlantis expedition arriving on Atlantis up to the events of the episode called The Eye (the second book was supposed to be from the eye to The Return). The problem is I hadn't intended this to be a book on its own until very recently. It was more in line with something I glossed over to get to the eye and later to the parts I really wanted to read, but I realised this was months of the characters story and glossing it  over would leave the reader with no understanding of the situation, so I write a few episodic chapters which I could stand the lack of quality of so now I'm scrapping them and saying that rising to the eye will be a book on it's own with a real coherent plotline. Well enjoy the absolute crap I write when I'm not inspired.

(Part one needs a total going over, it needs to be longer and probably needs a more coherent plot rather than episodic stories, the problems of this is that it's is impossible to send Hoglund off world at this point in time, sgt stackhouse and major shepard has science officers and Miller doesnt command an offworld unit for whatever reason. consider exchanging lt miller for a character of your own creation that you feel less bound to write in a  particular way becuase. Also consider making Hoglund darker, and less comedic. Think artemis fowl, sherlock holmes (from BBC's Sherlock) or the early chapters of harry potter and the methods of rationality. More psychopathic tendencies and less sheldon. Less marty stu (and for gods sake change his looks from your own looks) and more character for a certain role. I also need a villain.


(remember to update this chapter if you make changes to Hoglunds backstory on the go)

“you have more than enough people with the ata gene already doctor Wier” Genral O'Niel pointed out “I even alowed you to take major shepard despite his earlier record...”

“and despite my strongest objections I might add” Colonel Sumner added.

“This is my expedition and I decide who is going” doctor Weir snapped, falling back on a earlier topic of discussion.

“Yes! And I didnt fight you on the shepard issue but now you decide to go over the list of rejected personel one more time? Why? these people were decided not fit for this mission,and for good reason.” O'Neil went on, trying to get the doctor and the Colonel of the issue of major Shepard.

“Less than half my expedition force has the ata gene, general” weir aswered “Every person with it may become crucial should we find the lost city on te other side of the stargate, every person may make the sacrefice of power in the ZPM more likely to be worth it”

“Or these people may snap and get other members of the expedition killed” Sumner spat with a irritated glance at Shepard's file that had already been moved from the rejected pile to the accepted pile.

“that is why we are here to go over them again”

“You know we could to another round of 'flu inoculations' and see if we can find other suitable individuals” General O'Niel made bunny ear when he said flu inoculations referring to the genetics trails that had been made to find individuals with the gene in the first place.

“There is no time for that but I would greatly appreciate if you went on with the trails in my absence if we manage to open the gate again from the pegasus side any new members that can be sent will inrease the chances of this expedition to succeed”

“Ok so we go on with the rejected pile?” O'Neil sighed.

“Yes” Weir said lifting a folder from th pile before her “Here is one Doctor Felix Hoglund, 28 years old, citizen of sweden, ph.d in applied physics, a military service and a decent match on the ata gene”

Colonel Sumner took the file from her hand and cast one look at it. “One year military service, which all Swedish citizens get, and even then discharged ahead of time for not being able to work in a group.” he flipped a few pages. “Considered to be psychologically unstable, this guy has been fired from more tech companies than I've even heard of, he's been unemployed for the last year, a real find doctor”

“If you bothered to read the psych evaluation instead of just looking at the summary of it, you'd see that he seems to react badly to being under-stimulated, the odds of that happening in Pegasus are slim” Weir said. O'Neil took the folder from Sumner.

“Doctor mckay recommended against hiring Hoglund even before the psych evaluation came back” he pointed out. “According to McKay he is melodramatic and overconfident... speakign of which where is doctor mckay? Shoudlnt he be in this meeting as well?”

“He...” doctor Weir began just as foot steps could be heard in the stair and a few seconds later Doctor Rodney McKay appeared.
“I'm sorry i'm late, Sam insisted that we go over the specs for the Zed pm connection device, despite my insistance that it would work as intended”

“and?” general O'neil asked.

“well it turns out that one of the technicians had made slight missinterpretation...”

“Now that is surprising” O'Neil mumbled sarcastically.

“Doctor McKay sit down” Colonel Sumner gestured towards one f the chairs, and as McKay sat he continued “what is your opinion on a Doctor Felix Hoglund”

“Well he's smart not as smart as I but maybee about sam's level, or well propably not, well he's not the worst scientist I've met”

“yet you recommended against hiring him?” Sumner pointed out

“Yes, the man has no respect for scientific method, he does everything on whim and he cant admit he's wrong”

“Yeah I hate when people are like that” O'neil said looking accusingly at McKay.

“He never backs down general, he never lets anything go” McKay explained.

“That doesn't sound like a bad attribute in a bad situation” said Weir.

“I think you've made up your mind doctor” O'Neil said, looking at the other fifteen files before Weir, knowing that each one would require as much debate as this first one. It was going to be along day.


Comparatively one of the better chapters I've written, wit the changes I'm hoping to make to the main characters personality I may have to rewrite most of it anyway. 
Until next time.

to chapter 2 Departure

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